Another great story, Cary. This story is about a kid named Cyril. He seems like he is slightly mentally disabled or just absolutely socially awkward in the most intense way. The story starts as he is in some girls apartment reading her journal. He is caught and quickly escorted out by her roommate. He then makes his way over to Captain D's where two of his only friends are, Earl and Jimmy-cat. After hanging out with Earl for a bit they decide to feed Jimmy-cat some fish like they usually do. When Cyril goes to find Jimmy-cat in the dumpster area, he sees a very graphic scene. At first, it seemed to me like the cat was dead, but she had really had kittens.
Cary, you have a lot of things going for you in this story. The character Cyril is really interesting to me. I like how awkward and kind of creepy he is. I can tell that he has a good heart but is slightly unstable at the same time. I like his modest interactions with people and his simple way of thinking. The scenes in this story are really cool too. How he breaks in to a girl's apartment to chill in her bedroom and how he finds his stray/pet cat having kittens and not really understanding it at first.
I don't really understand how these two scenes connect. Cyril doesn't seem to have any motives in the story and just floats through. Although the scenes that you wrote are really interesting and cool, I didn't find any meaning in them. But I know you're great writer though and there's something there. I think you should just try and develop it and show it more. I would also look back on some of the dialogue. It felt a little cliche in certain places or maybe unnatural. For instance, when Cyril is talking to Earl and asks him why he smokes. Earl's response seemed really cliche for some reason. Also, I would think of a different name. I think "Meow" works, but I think you could come up with something better. Other than that, I really think you've got some good ideas to work with.
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