Great story, J..J. This is about a sorry guy named, Gabe. He spends all of his time getting stoned and going to school. He is never social and believes it has to do with how he is as a person. He can't be social because he is too serious, he's fat, he can't be happy with anyone since his last girlfriend, etc. After hanging out with his drug dealer, Win, and his friend Tori, (two awesome characters) he is alone and goes to sleep. In his sleep, he hears a voice that basically says that all the crappy stuff in the world is beautiful underneath, and you have to be diligent to see it. When Gabe wakes up he writes stories about what he has learned.
I liked how you contrasted his two dreams. The first dream was dark and the liquid surrounding him was disgusting and he was unable to see through it. The second was opposite but shared similar aspects (the flashbacks, the rainbows, etc.). The story was so awkward and that was a great thing. By the time Gabe was sitting with Win, I felt uncomfortable with the social awkwardness going on. That was perfect.
I think you made Tori's character a little too obviously slutty. I'm not too sure if that is a bad thing or not though. The dialogue thoughout the story was good. There was one part that I thought was unnecessary. When Gabe is making the gravity bong the exchange follows,“Want a grav? You’re up.” “Yeah! For sure.” I understood what was going on the whole time, and I didn't see the usefulness of this exchange between Tori and Gabe. I really do like this story, man. Other than those few things, I'd say it's great.
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